The challenges that couples and families face on a daily basis can be quite complicated, not to mention frustrating, stressful and unique in each case. For example, issues of infidelity experienced in one relationship are different from issues of infidelity in another. Not all married couples have the same definition for words like “trust” or “neglect”. With that said, you certainly can’t place marital life in neat black and white colors.
However, each and every marriage counselor will agree that there are a few principles that can help most, if not all, couples. These basic principles can enrich your relationship and make it more lively and joyful.
The following are two of the best bits of advice any marriage and family counselor can give. They may sound clich? and trite, but the more you apply them in your relationship and daily round, the more you will realize they actually make a lot of sense!
If something is bothering you, or is exciting and significant for you, say it! But do it responsibly. Getting your thoughts and feelings across to your partner, spouse or family members is always better than giving them the “silent treatment”, and waiting for things to change. Of course, you don’t have to reveal everything. In fact, if you don’t feel comfortable talking about an issue, then at least communicate how you feel, and give your reasons why. When everything is out in the open, you can see the solution you are looking for much easier.
Accept that stress is normal.
It’s pitiful that many individuals today file for divorce at the first sign of trouble. Couples should realize that stress in a marriage is actually a normal and expected event. As any marriage counselor would say, it is important that you are prepared for all the bumps on the road. Fight for your marriage and family and don’t let one disagreement ruin the relationship you worked so hard for.
Change always brings frustration and stress. Bear in mind that throughout the different stages of marital life, from dating, to the wedding, to settling down, to raising a family, changes will happen. What you and your spouse can do in this situation is find out where the stress is coming from, and adapt accordingly. If you want to find out more about these simple principles, you can contact the marriage and family counselor at Counseling Dimensions – Jan Miller of Tucson AZ.